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Room to Breathe
Life's Events & Observations02 Apr 2007 08:11 pm

So now that I seem to have a “normal” life…I have no time (or it’s not as important as it once was) to post.  The habit just fell out of my daily routine.

Anyways…so I do keep up a little…and I started getting about 800 comments a day to moderate.  Finally I did something about it but while doing so….I JUST DELETED ALL MY COMMENTS!!!!  I had 1000’s of them archived!  I can’t believe how stupid I can be!

Oh well…fresh start.  Sorry to those that took the time to share their thoughts with me.

I just hope I haven’t fucked things up for the future.  Fucking spammers…all their fault.

Life's Events & Observations22 Jan 2007 11:49 am

So why has it only been since I upgraded WordPress to 2.0.7 that I am getting spammed?  Never before did I have to moderate so many comments.


Life's Events & Observations15 Jan 2007 08:13 pm

Often in the first few weeks of the new year, people reflect on the past.  Most often it’s with regret or a sense of dissatisfaction.

I remember last New Years - 2006 - and the end of 2005 beginning.  I was so unsure of everything, but feeling like I was making a turn around.  Jobs were being thrown at me (or so it seems looking back), and it looked to be a better year approaching.  Even with my insecurities, I still trudged through.  Since the previous year (2005) went down the toilet, and the preceeding 5 years before…. I thought 2006 just couldn’t get worse.  (Of course we call say that looking back!)

But for the 1st time in my life I can honestly say, “I had a FANTASTIC year!”.


Life's Events & Observations04 Dec 2006 03:33 pm

My 3pm sugar crave took me to the kitchen where I found 2 other stragglers doing the same. A can of Pepsi I thought would do the trick…until the CEO whips out his wallet and says:

“Go get chocolate” :D

Life's Events & Observations29 Nov 2006 11:10 am

Just a few moments ago I was appointed to be responsible for the website. Review/feedback/input. General consulting. Not just our rinky program one… THE website. Apparently this is an honour. Actually it is. And so was the moment the director pulled me into his offfice a month ago, just to tell me he’s “heard” I’ve been doing a great job.

Does anyone know what it’s like to be appreciated? All my life I have worked for assholes who micro-mananged and spent hours pining over the little stuff, and watching my every move. I’ve learned when you stop worrying about the little shit, the big picture and future are really easy to achieve.

So there. It’s taken me more than a year to move on…and I’m doing just fine.

Life's Events & Observations and Blog Related23 Nov 2006 03:56 pm

June???? That was the last time I posted? Wow! Life HAS been busy.

I promise to change that. Not for anyone else, but for myself. (Obviously! Any readers I DID have moved on).

Anyways….LOVE my job….and I am now being PAID to blog! :) . How’s that for a switch! My non-technical admin-ish job has me setting up/designing / supporting / creating websites for my program! So the fun part if that they finally acknowledge my skills and the girl who asked me if she could show me how to “google something” in the first 2 weeks….her skills (or lack of!) are now being reviewed. Heh.

Life's Events & Observations13 Jun 2006 05:22 pm

I just called one of my team-mates. A new (female) friend. Being into sports (technology, movies, (anything except makup) that I am interested in) most of my friends have always been male. Good and bad. Made dating (not sure I ever really did) difficult. You hang out/drink with the guys, and the next thing you find out is that they wanna fuck you. We’ll “fuck you” is what I say; and have lost friends because of it. So I safely keep my distance.

So I started playing with this girl about 3 months ago. We hit it off. And she’s fucking beautiful too! I can’t stop starring. Her hair is PERFECT! She says, “a lotta hair spray”. Whatever. She pulls it off well and makes it look so natural.

We’ll tonight is reason #546 why I heart her. I called her house and her husband (who she never mentions - not because their relationship is bad, but because she’s so cool) answers. He told me she was still at work. Since I hadn’t spoken to her since she got back from her business trip to SanFransico, I didn’t know if she got the updated schedule for our game tonight and was going to be there.

I asked her husband to let her know I (gave name) called. He responded, “Oh. Is this for Baseball? Basketball? or Volleyball?”

Oh she’s great! She’s got a family, a full-time career that travel is required for 5 times a year AND selfishly plays all the extra-ciricual sports that I love!

My new friend is living proof that you can have a life, while having a real life.

(Completely unedited. My new way of posting. Gotta get it done somehow!)

Life's Events & Observations26 Apr 2006 08:31 pm

I work in a very “different” environment than what I am/was used to. Primarily woman; caring, giving, (surprisingly) NOT bitches (!), sharing, funny…but completely inept when it comes to technology.

For some reason they don’t listen to me or think I know anything. Did you read my resume? Last week a girl wasn’t going to be there and asked me to use her computer to add a list of psychiatrist’s email addresses to her contacts, and then create a distribution list. She showed me how to add a contact! This was the same girl that offered to show me how to do a google search.

This morning a group of doctors met in our boardroom, taking up the last minute offer extended by one of the psychiatrists in our program. How nice. My how doctors love PowerPoint. They asked to borrow a projector and then asked one of the girls, “do you have a wireless network we can use?”

To which she responded very matter of factly, “No. We have Cable.”, said with the last syllable of caBLE louder and snottier.

Oww my head hurts.

Life's Events & Observations24 Apr 2006 08:22 pm

I started a job a few months ago. Actually, 3 months ago today. I interviewed for the position, was called to a second interview involving some skills testing, but I didn’t get it.

My heart wasn’t completely broken. I was working contract work, and for myself. Life was leisure and I could sleep in if I wanted. Yet I still needed more money.

I took another job, had been fully trained and was becoming somewhat of a protégé. I didn’t hate the job, but when I was called and asked to start on Wednesday for the job I had interview for first, I didn’t think twice about quitting. I left on good terms with the door wide open for return. My boss said he felt like crying when I left (after only 2 weeks!), because he had seen a lot of potential in me. I felt bad, but I’ve learned to think and care about me. I won’t get ahead unless I do. No more ruts! I’ve learned my lesson the hard way.

So that is where I am now. It’s contract and although it’s full time, I still go in every day thinking I don’t know if I will have a job tomorrow. Working on contract gives you a weird sense of insecurity.

But things look good. My responsibilities are growing and I was given key/alarm access last week. The program manager has been saying all along, “I’ll let you know when positions become available. You definitely have the skills, and we’re happy with your work.” I’ve over heard words of praise about me from others as well.

Yet I’m still not part of the “gang”. I work in an office predominantly of women who have worked close together for a long time; some of them for 12 years.

Our program is expanding and the Manager took all the staff (EXCLUDING ME) to New Yew York City for the weekend as a “thank you” for all the years of work. Everyone has been sensitive to my feelings since I wasn’t included, but it still feels like they are talking about me behind my back. The sites and attractions (and shopping!) being talked about, and the itinerary being planned. I couldn’t help feeling a little green. I’ve never been on a plane, and I’ve never been to NYC. (I don’t count driving through as a passenger in my friends transport truck when he drove down to New Jersey to pick up a load and asked me to tag along).

Oh well. We’ll see what the next month brings as far as employment. After all, NYC will always be there; my job may not. I have to focus on doing a good job so that it will be.

Life's Events & Observations23 Apr 2006 03:37 pm

Life’s been secretive the past year or so. I’ve lived under a rock and shared things on a “need to know” basis. I’ll surface every so often, and then go back into my shell. Many factors have affected this decision. Most of which I will probably never talk about.

I’m not sure why though. Life’s not that bad. I’ve done a lot of growing in the past year. The past couple weeks I’ve noticed my face is reflecting that as well. Since turning 30 in January, suddenly expectations of me are higher. No longer being a “20-something”, I can’t use inexperience as an excuse. 30 really is the end. Then again, I thought 21 was.

Whatever. I still think I’m 16, so I guess it’s all relative and doesn’t matter anyways.

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