I started a job a few months ago. Actually, 3 months ago today. I interviewed for the position, was called to a second interview involving some skills testing, but I didn’t get it.
My heart wasn’t completely broken. I was working contract work, and for myself. Life was leisure and I could sleep in if I wanted. Yet I still needed more money.
I took another job, had been fully trained and was becoming somewhat of a protégé. I didn’t hate the job, but when I was called and asked to start on Wednesday for the job I had interview for first, I didn’t think twice about quitting. I left on good terms with the door wide open for return. My boss said he felt like crying when I left (after only 2 weeks!), because he had seen a lot of potential in me. I felt bad, but I’ve learned to think and care about me. I won’t get ahead unless I do. No more ruts! I’ve learned my lesson the hard way.
So that is where I am now. It’s contract and although it’s full time, I still go in every day thinking I don’t know if I will have a job tomorrow. Working on contract gives you a weird sense of insecurity.
But things look good. My responsibilities are growing and I was given key/alarm access last week. The program manager has been saying all along, “I’ll let you know when positions become available. You definitely have the skills, and we’re happy with your work.” I’ve over heard words of praise about me from others as well.
Yet I’m still not part of the “gang”. I work in an office predominantly of women who have worked close together for a long time; some of them for 12 years.
Our program is expanding and the Manager took all the staff (EXCLUDING ME) to New Yew York City for the weekend as a “thank you” for all the years of work. Everyone has been sensitive to my feelings since I wasn’t included, but it still feels like they are talking about me behind my back. The sites and attractions (and shopping!) being talked about, and the itinerary being planned. I couldn’t help feeling a little green. I’ve never been on a plane, and I’ve never been to NYC. (I don’t count driving through as a passenger in my friends transport truck when he drove down to New Jersey to pick up a load and asked me to tag along).
Oh well. We’ll see what the next month brings as far as employment. After all, NYC will always be there; my job may not. I have to focus on doing a good job so that it will be.