Room to Breathe

My brother has been in Ecuador now for 10 months.

Quick history:

My brother went to Galapagos Island in second year university to teach English. His goal: become fluent in another language. There he met a girl. He’s been flying back and forth a few times a year since (at $2000 a pop!) to see her. Last fall he flew down to ask her parents if he could marry her. A few months later he flew down again and they were married. He knocked her up that night too. 3 months ago, I became an aunt again.

I’ve never met my sister-in-law; and now I have never yet met my nephew either. They won’t permit her to even visit Canada, as she is viewed as a flight risk. She didn’t have enough travel experience, and they didn’t think she had enough reason to return home; despite the fact that her family is there and she’s in university.

So my brother has been dealing with the long waits and all the paper work. Last week his wife (my sister-in-law) was granted her permanent residence in Canada. However she has to get here before March 30th, or else re-apply (costing another $1000, and another year potentially).

On Sunday night I get an email from my brother:
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I just realized, I JUST returned a call from September.

My cousin called and left a message on my voicemail in September after my Aunt’s death. She called again last week.

I called her today to wish her happy birthday and said, “sorry I haven’t returned your call sooner.”.

September?

I believe I’m past that “returning a call” time frame, and it just becomes a call. And rude.

No wonder my family thinks what they do of me.

I better call my Aunt who left a message last Monday.

Today was a perfect example of how you may not feel like going or want to go, but once you have and it’s over, you feel great. I dragged myself to the gym this morning and pushed myself to do 1/2 hour on the elliptical. Surprisingly I then felt good enough to do an ab and arm routine.

Mom had recently found a Thai/Vietnamese restaurant she liked and asked me if I wanted to go have a coffee she raved about. It was closed. It is Sunday afterall.

So I suggested a Vietnamese restaurant that I had been to once before and thought she might like. It’s sorta secret trendy and draws a young crowd. I was craving soup, and they serve the stuff to cure anything.

My mom ordered a noodle soup called in English “Noodle Soup with Duck Leg”. The large bowl arrives and she started trying to work with the chop sticks to eat the noodles.

“Where’s the duck?”, she asked. Suddenly she lifts the noodles and reveals the biggest duck leg you’ve ever seen.

She burst out laughing. I’m not sure what she was expecting. She got what she ordered. Literally, Noodle Soup with Duck Leg.

Although it’s Thanksgiving Monday night @ 9PM, it’s never too late:

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Yesterday was Auction Day, and the auctioneers wife brought in a sweater for my cousin to try on. She first decided to show my Grandma & I.

When she opened the bag and pulled the sweater out, I almost threw up. The room was quickly permeated with the raunchy smell of mothballs. Gag.

So holding my breath I agreed that the sweater was indeed beautiful, and that I am sure my cousin would like the it.

She proudly put the sweater away so she could show my cousin later; and left to get back to work.

Grandma turns to me and says:

Grandma: Eelchh. Did you smell that?

Me: Disgusting.

Grandma: It’s mothballs.

Me: Have you ever smelled mothballs before?

Grandma: Oh yes! My auntie used to….

Me: Really? How did you get their little legs apart?

She sat there stunned for a moment while processing what I just said. Then the look of shock appeared on her face and she hit me while laughing.

“You’re terrible.”, she said.

Teehee. I’ll say anything to anyone.

Seriously. What a fucking horrible month.

- My brother got married on September 3rd - Happy
- I babysat my niece with my mom for 3 days after the wedding - Fun
- I (and the rest of the wedding party including my boyfriend) got sick from the 7th until the 16th - awful
- My aunt had a stroke on the 21st - speechless

I asked my mom (it’s my dad’s sister) if I was weird because the fact that she had a stroke and was lying in a coma in the hospital wasn’t really bothering me. Mom said that it was probably because she was still with us, and it hadn’t sunk in. I guess she was right. It just felt like she was sick, and needed special care. As though she’d come home in a few weeks, and resume life as normal.

I was there for my dad, my cousins and my aunts. I felt like I had no soul because I didn’t even cry. I didn’t know what to say to her lying in bed. The tubes didn’t bother me, nor the giant scar on her head from where they cut her scalp and took out the bone to get to her brain. None of this bothered me. I was just there for everyone else. My cousin (her son) made jokes and was trying to be realistic. It’s almost like he was giving himself early closure. Was I the only one that hadn’t written her off?

They did a scan and discovered where the bleeds were coming from in her brain, and were able to put 3 clips in to stop the bleeding. They left the part of her skull off to allow for swelling, and they said she was at risk for the next 2 weeks of having another stroke after the surgery.

Last night about 2AM she had another stroke.

My aunt passed away this evening at about 5PM EST. She was 56. I can’t stop crying.

My brother got married last night. We just got home. 4:30PM.

Busy day yesterday (UNDER exaggerating), and late night last night. Again, UNDER exaggerating.

In the last 2 days I’ve witnessed and created enough stories to write about for the next year!

I’d love to write more now while it’s still fresh, but I’m exhausted physically and requiring a nap if I am ever going to be human again. Besides, my contacts are bothering me. Makeup got under the lens and my vision has been blurred since 2AM this morning.

One thing that can be said, it was the best wedding anyone could have asked for. Far exceeding my expectations with presentation, and my fears of inter-mixed divorced parents and families were abolished. My mom actually sat next to my dad’s girlfriend, my dad went and sat with my mom’s family who he hasn’t spoken to since the divorce 13 years ago, and my neurotic cousin didn’t cause scenes!

Just one thing to say…are you going to finish that?

{More to come soon…}

I spent much of the weekend with Grandma. Auction weekend. As soon as she picked me up in the morning and we started to talk, I knew something was different. We were driving on the highway and it was loud as shit in the car with the wind coming in through Grandma’s window which was open 1/2 an inch; yet it didn’t seem to bother her. Strange. Normally the sound of a pin dropping can annoy her.

I clued in to the problem after the third, “pardon?”.

“Grandma, did your battery in your hearing aid die?”

“Pardon?”

Oh man, this is going to be a long day.

“DID YOUR BATTERY IN YOUR HEARING AID DIE?”

“Oh.”, she says realizing that her hearing aid has become useless and takes it out. “Well it must have died last night while I was sleeping, without me knowing. I’ll change the battery when we stop.”

She does the window up and continues driving. I didn’t say much since she has to read my lips now to hear, and yelling this early in the morning gives me a headache.

This went on for the rest of the day, because once we had stopped, she didn’t have a spare battery.

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It’s kind of nice having a boyfriend who is so in to toys and gadgets. He likes having the latest and greatest, and often I’ll get his hand-me-downs; which are like new, since he takes good care of his things. Helps keep the resale value!

His obsessions with cell phones and cameras is unlike anyone I know. Sometimes he just buys me a new cell phone, since he doesn’t have a use for it, just because it’s new, and he thinks it’s cool. I don’t even need it!

Then, he takes my old one and sells it. I find things of mine on Ebay!

He is the only person I know that has 2 active cell phone providers; 3 if you count mine since he pays for my service. He’s got his Blackberry, but then he’s got his walkie-talkie phone. I’m surprised he hasn’t gotten me that yet!

So in the past year I’ve received: 3 cell phones (he lost count of how many he’s had), a camera, a new computer and recently a new mouse, and a scanner/printer/copier/fax machine (because he needs the fax, and thought I might like a new scanner).

I didn’t ask for any of this. I am quite happy with my old stuff. But I have to say, I’m really lovin’ this new mouse. Wireless/Optical with a super silent scroll wheel and tilt scrolling. Nicest mouse I’ve ever owned.

He is only trying to please me I know. Well, and fill his needs for tech toys. I just hate when he is right.

Last night was the wedding party’s party. Eight couples reeking havoc in Niagara Falls. They didn’t know what they were getting into when they let us book our room. We were loud, obnoxious, without kids (for some), and ready to drink and gamble all night!

We arrive at the hotel, setup camp, and laugh and laugh and laugh. My bf and I weren’t going to stay, just because we don’t live as far as the others and it’s cheaper just to drive home, rather than spend the $100+ on a hotel room. But I love spending time with my brother. We get a long so well, and have so many stories to share.

We girls all took off to the liquor store and bank to stock up on cash and drinks, then back to the hotel.

A few drinks, then some dinner. Back to the hotel, a few more drinks. Then a few more drinks. I had a cigarette. Only one. Another drink. A walk to the shuttle to take us to the casino, and I perched myself with the other girls at the Black Jack table, while the guys went off to play Texas Holdem Poker.

Four hours later I’m still at the same Black Jack table with my sister-in-law-to-be, up a few hundred dollars from the measly $60 I threw on the table to start. I’m in my glory. Splits, hits on 16 and taking a 5, doubles - everything is working. AND, my bf stood behind me while I played and didn’t complain! When it’s just the 2 of us at the casino, he won’t let me play. He like slots (which I think and KNOW are a total waste of time and money), and he doesn’t like to stay very long. That’s why I was surprised he let me play. But I kept passing him my $100 chips I was winning, so why should he have a problem?

I sound like an addict. Not really, I just don’t get out much. I haven’t been to the casino since April, and I only had 4 drinks the whole night. Enough to enjoy myself, not enough to make an ass of myself.

My brother sarcastically says, “thanks” to me, when his fiancée ends up sitting at a Black Jack table for hours. Now they take trips to Montréal, and some other casino close to Kingston. I was the one that taught her how to play. However I’m also the one that helps her win. And the way she was going when we left and went back to the hotel, she might just be able to pay for the wedding herself!