A trip to Toys R Us last night, to buy a birthday gift for my friends kid tomorrow. Kassidy turns 1. I can’t believe that a year ago tomorrow, I was watching the miracle of birth. I have helped to deliver calves on my father’s farm before, but have never been in the delivery room before to see a woman give birth. It was truly amazing.
I bought her a Playskool Mini Agenda. Sorta like a kids PDA. I also got her a Sesame Street “Elmo’s Fishing Fun Set”. It’s for the bath, and I think that I would like it. Bath toys are so much fun!
The best thing that I got on my trip to the toy store was something for me though. A Strawberry ShortcakeDoll! They are back! I used to love mine, and now I am going to have to search to find them again. That’s IF my mom hasn’t thrown out all my dolls. Curse parents that do that. 20 years later it’s nice to look back at the pictures you drew in school, and the old toys that were your favourite.
Must get ass in gear. Must finish new blog template this weekend. This design sucks. It is only temp. though.
You know, growing up I always thought that we (Canadians) were no very nice to “Newfies” (people from Newfoundland). However, in the last year I have come to realise where these stigmatisms have come from.
Case number 1: My dad’s girlfriend. Very nice lady. Would give you the world! However, she is….a couple brick short of a load? I am not sure that the load was even loaded!
Example 1 - Case 1: Telling “newfie” jokes at Christmas dinner. She laughed at them all, however after the one that I told, I can’t be sure that she even understood!
As she was washing the dishes, I said, “Sharon. How do you keep a newie in suspense?”
Sharon, “I don’t know. How do you keep a newfie in suspense?”
So I respond with, “I don’t know. I will tell you tomorrow.” End of joke. Most people usually grown and a little smile.
I said most people. Sharon stops doing the dishes, turns around and says with a grin, “Why? Is it a dirty one?”
My dad and I looked at each other amazed. Dad says, “Uh Sharon. That was the joke.”
Her response was, “Oh.” and she turned around to continue with the dishes. I am not sure if she actually got the joke. I somehow don’t think so. So this is how I describe Sharon.
Example 2 - Case 1: Sitting around at Easter dinner, Sharon has to take her son to his friends. She asks, “I think that I will stop and get a movie on my way home, does anyone recommend anything?”
As a joke I said, “Oh I saw the movie “Ted Bundy” at Blockbuster. The way I said it was a joke. Everyone knew that. Some people laughed and those that didn’t asked who he was. So I told them. Some guy who sexually assaulted and killed MANY woman. Then they fried him in the electric chair in 1989. I remember that. I knew nothing about the case, but I knew he was being executed. Kids were saying that we needed to turn out the lights at a certain time, so that it would give him more “juice”.
Anyways, so she takes her son to his friends, and comes back with…Ted Bundy the movie!! Is she retarded? My dad does not really like to watch movies, especially about serial killers! Nice family movie.
So. This is my dad’s girl friend of 1� years. 2 years in October. My dad will probably marry her. I think it is because he is lonely, and at his age I guess there are certain things that become less as important in finding a mate. Like a brain.
Case number 2: An unknown woman. I own the domain whitestar.ca. Don’t go there, there is nothing to see. I haven’t done anything with it. So one day, almost a year ago I got an email. I thought that it was SPAM, because the subject was “Order Confirmation - 1158986611-00028″. Having a closer look at it, I had received it in error. Perhaps someone had previously owned the domain, and they did not update their information. I got one a few days later, saying that the order was ready for pickup.
So I looked this lady up. I had her name and the location of the order that was to be picked up from Sears. Her town is in Newfoundland. A small town right on the ocean. Nothing there probably, and that why she orders online. In this small town is a “Whitestar Hair Salon”. I decided to call her. Tell her that I have been receiving her email, and ask what her new email address is so that I may forward these messages to her. And then she can fix the mistake with Sears. so that it doesn’t happen again.
Wow. I didn’t think this was going to be hard. I explained who I was and why I was calling. She was a very sweet lady. Funny accent. I confused the hell out of her. She told me that her email address was “www@whitestar.ca”. She was pretty sure of this. When I told her it wasn’t it really made her think. I asked her for her FAX number, so that I could send her these emails. Something about the phone lines. I didn’t really get an answer, so I gave her my phone number and told her to call me once she figured out her email address. When I told her that I was calling from Hamilton, I thought she was going to have a heart attack! I was calling from the same damn county! Not Japan or anything!
I continue to get her orders. Sometimes they are sent to www. or ww or www or ww.@whitestar.ca. One day I think that I might just go pick them up! She’s paid for them online. I contacted Sears. I explained to them this lady is dumb. (not in those words though). They told me that they will delete her profile and she will have to create a new one. A year later, I still get her orders. I just have my mail program forward them back to Sears! And I still get them!
Hello MRS LISA XXXXX,
Thank you for your Sears Online Order.
The following is a detailed order status summary:
Order Date: MAY 23 2003 Order #: 09xx313xxx Confirmation #: 199xxx0681-00xxx
Pickup Location: TXXXXX WEST (70x)xx3-2xx4
Xxoxxxrds Ltd
Main Street
Item# Description Col Size Qty Price Status Promised
Date
193553040 JUMPSUIT,FF,RI 8 1 23.99 In Stock JUN 03
193554789 JEAN,MED STONE 27 1 29.99 In Stock JUN 03
193559194 BLOUSE,SF,WHIT 12 1 9.99 In Stock JUN 03
193565025 SWIMSUIT,1PC,W 6 1 29.99 In Stock JUN 03
413569108 SHORT,AQUA BLU 6 1 19.99 In Stock JUN 03
193599226 SWEATER TANK,F 12 1 14.99 In Stock JUN 03
Order price: 131.94
Ship/Trans: .00
Handling: .00
GST: 19.81
PST: .00
Discount: .00
———
Order Total: 151.75
Method of Payment: Sears Canada Credit
You will be notified by e-mail when your order is ready for pick-up.
Thank you for shopping at Sears.
http://www.sears.ca
So now Sears is finally getting the hint. They have opened a case. That was today. We will see how this goes. I know it’s stupid that I even care. I just thought that the lady was nice, and I felt bad for her being as disadvantaged as she is. Being in the middle of no where, having to shop online at Sears to get clothes! Oh well.
Stasera ho giocato ancora il volleyball a Baranga. Abbiamo perso. Tutti e tre i giochi. Ma ho giocato impressionante. La bevanda prima del gioco aiutato!
Jugu� esta noche a voleibol otra vez en Baranga. Perdimos. Los tres juegos. Pero jugu� impresionante. �La bebida antes del juego ayud�!
Tonight I played volleyball again at Baranga’s. We lost. All three games. But I played awesome. The drink before the game helped!
Heute abend spielte ich Volleyball wieder bei Barangas. Wir verloren. Alle drei Spiele. Aber ich spielte ehrf�rchtiges. Das Getr�nk vor dem Spiel half!
Ce soir j’ai jou� au volleyball encore chez Baranga. Nous avons perdu. Chacun des trois jeux. Mais j’ai jou� impressionnant. La boisson avant le jeu aid�!
I love babelfish!!
I am such a loser. My fwb doesn’t call….and I start to worry that he may have been in an accident or something. All because he said goodbye, and I told him to drive safely. Why did I say that? I hate being a woman…and having that stupid worry gene installed. But he normally calls. Stupid routines. Stupid worrisome me that is going to start going grey if I don’t relax.
Best Resignation Letter
This is a classic !! Actual letter by a pissed off employee at Zantex Computers, US…to his boss. His boss resigned very soon afterwards.
Mr. Baker,
As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel.
After your consistent and annoying harassment of myself and my coworkers during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time. Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen.
I was hired because I know about Unix, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of “cut and paste” for the hundredth time. You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is.
Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at.
Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.
1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is “I prefer not to comment.” I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on
your own.
2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your “favorites list”, which I conveniently saved when you made me “back up” your useless files. I do believe that terms like “Lolita” are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.
3. When you borrowed the digital camera to “take pictures of your mothers b-day”, you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please, I hate having to correct your mistakes.)
Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrators, because they know what you do with all your free time.
Sincerely,
Darryl Brewer
I am sure in most cases this letter could be used. Just replace a few words/situations and BAM! You’re outta there with a good recommedation. 
Well I just got back from the Matrix Reloaded. Awesome movie! I was really looking forward to this for, how many years has it been? Four? Not sure. Ya four . Anyways, it wasn’t as good as I was hoping. The plot wasn’t very good; but I guess the fights scenes, as drawn out as some of them were, made up for it.
Can’t wait for the conclusion! The Matrix RevolutionsThe Matrix Revolutions.
4 hours later, my chicken is done. Except I have to got to bed now, or I will never make it up for work in the morning. The sad part is, I upped the temp., so that it would cook faster. Now I think that I over did it, and my chicken is going ot be dry. Crap!
Atleast blogger is back and I was able to republish my archives. Why I wanted to do this, I am not sure. Sometimes history is best not remembered.
Blogger sucks ass again tonight. ODBC errors….AGAIN! My archives won’t work, and I can’t complete them, since there is another error there when I try and republish. Ahh!