Room to Breathe

Oh boy. This is probably not a good thing. Tonight Dino bought me a PlayStation 2. He says that it isn’t to “replace” Bailey, but I think that he was hoping to help me to not focus on her death.

It’s been a hard week. I see her everywhere I go. All my routines revolved around her. I never realized just how much apart of my life she was and had been. I don’t even like cats! But Bailey was different. She wasn’t really a cat, more like a dog and she tried to act exactly like me.

So I am not sure how often I will be able to write here. I think I might take a little break until I can cheer up. For now I will play Beach Volleyball - Summer Heat for PS2 to occupy my time:).

My cat Bailey died tonight. I still am in shock. She started dry heaving….as though she had a fur ball….but she never got fur balls! It seemed to clear and then she was fine. This has happened about 4 times in the past 2 weeks to my knowledge. Then suddenly she seemed as though she was gasping for air. She looked like she was swollowing her tongue. But she still looked ok. Then she let out a little cry…and flopped down as she always did when she was tired. I didn’t think anything was wrong…until she got up and started to move around. She had pissed a huge puddle and that’s what she flopped into. She tracked the urine around my appartment. At this point I tried to assist her. I tried to pick her up…and tilted her forward and hit her back. Hoping to clear her airways and dislodge whatever was preventing her from breathing. She cried a little. She is a fairly quiet cat so I know something was wrong. So I called my cousin. He is fairly knowledgeable with most things…and perhaps he had a suggestion.

He tried to get me to calm down…I was becomming hysterical. he said, “don’t worry…it’s just a hair ball.” he said, “If you like I can take you to the emergency vet clinic (24 hours). Suddenly he was not there…he had gone to the other line to call them but did not tell me. I was screaming for him. Finally he came back….with the lady on the other end as well….Bailey’s tongue was turning blue. And then her mouth began turning blue. She still seemed to be breathing…with a lot of difficultly though. Suddenly she started to freak out…and tried to get into my room. i would not let her. She didn’t know what to do with herself. She was grabbing at things. And then she flopped down again….her body bloated….and she calapsed. She was still breathing…and I could feel her heart beat slightly. My cousin didn’t want to waste his time coming to get me is she was only going to be dead. I said that I wanted to still go to the vet clinic…and I wanted him to come as fast as possible.

Tonight was the first night that he decided not to drive like an ass. I got into the car…and I knew in my heart that she was dead…but I still wanted to go incase they could recessitate her. We got there and she was definatly dead. I could not control my tears. My Bailey. My Bebe….Beebs….Fatty. What was I going to do without her?

My cousin bought a box for my cat to bury her in. We drove back to his house to grad the shovel and pick axe. We ended up burying her in Cootes Paradise. A place where I could go and visit her.

I am bitten alive with West Nile disease, my cat is dead…and I thought that we were going to have to fight off a stag while we were digging. We could hear him in the forest…but he never came out until we left.

God bless you Bailey. You were the best. More like a dog than a cat. I will never forget you.

Bailey March 26, 1996 - July 10, 2003

Tonight volleyball was fun. We reminised about the weekend past….compared sunburns and injuries….while we had a drink before the game.

It began to rain…just a little spitting…enough to cool us off. It was a perfect night. Not very hot…quite over cast…and absolutly not wind.

And then I got shit on! A bird fucking shit on me!! Everone said that it was lucky and I should take a trip to the casino after the game…or buy a lottery ticket for tomorrow nights 649 draw. Lucky!?!? They weren’t the ones with warm brown shit on the arm!

It’s taken me 2 days just to sit down and *think* about the wekend that I had! It was so awesome! We played in the Not So Pro Beach Volleyball tournament this past weekend in Wasaga Beach.

I thought that I would be comotosed for much of the weekend, but the sun just wiped out most of us. Drinking was kept to a minimun only because most of us couldn’t handle it (ok - *I* couldn’t handle it ). Three hours sleep each night after playing for 9 hours in the burning sun. Wow. I have blisters on the bottoms of my feet from the hot sand. My forhead is swollen because or my sun burn, and I have blisters along my hair line and on my back. Three drinks each night and I was toast.

The whole weekend seems much of a blur. Sitting here trying to remember events is becoming frusterating!

So I am going to sign off….more to come later…and pics to post as well. I must leave to go play in my Tuesday night league at Baranga’s. Cya!