Room to Breathe

I broke down tonight and bought a Ceramic Space Heater. I couldn’t pass it up though. I didn’t realize they didn’t have to be expensive! $34.99 later, and now I can wear a T-shirt in my apartment comfortably. I guess that is the downfall of having heat “included”. The cheap-ass landlord gets to control the temperature, and I have to pay additional Hydro if I want it warmer. Cursed Canadian Winters.

Ah. Wings and beer after the game. I think that is what the doctor ordered. It was nice to hang out and relax. I never really drank beer before I started playing volleyball on a team!

This weekend my friend came over to help me clean my apartment. I know, it’s pretty bad that I need help cleaning, but if you saw my place you would understand the huge task it is. I seem to collect and keep everything. It takes someone else to point out that I really don’t need all the crap I have. So 4 garbage bags later, I now have a clean desk top, and walking space. However I am paying for it physically now. (and I can’t find anything!) My back is killing me. I had spasms all day yesterday, and today I woke up and could hardly bend my knee. Pretty pathetic actually.

Well, no time to blog. I need to get going on my cross stitch. I have 2 Christmas gifts that I need to complete, and I am feeling the pressure of time. I’ll show ya’ll a picture of the completed project when I am done. G’night!

So I am minding my own business today in the washroom at work, and someone else came in and decides to use the stall next to me. I won’t say whether she works on my floor, or in my office. You know who you are! She asks, “do you have an extra tampon?” I said, “no man. I am really sorry.” Don’t worry, she knew who she was asking. She says, “Crap. I thought that I had brought enough for today.”

So basically I felt bad, ’cause I know what it is like. But I also knew that she would be on her way home, so it wasn’t like there was the rest of the day ahead of her. Besides, there is a Pharmacy downstairs.

So I finish my duties, and exit the stall to wash my hands. She finished a few moments later, said something like, “see ya later” and left. She left! Without washing her hands!

Ok. So now I am thinking that it’s absolutely disgusting. But it’s not the fact that she just didn’t wash, she asked me if I had a tampon, so I know what she was doing in there!

I remember back in the spring with the whole SARS out-break, The Edge (102.1FM - a local Toronto radio station) had a thing going where you could call in and “rat” on someone that you saw not washing their hands. I wouldn’t do that to this girl, but how do you tell someone?

It’s not yet the first day of Winter, by my how it felt like it was today! I think only a couple of days ago I could be outside with only a light jacket. And on the weekend, I was wearing a T-shirt with my Fall Helly Hansen vest. But not today, no sir. It’s “break out the hats and mitts time” folks! Winter is here. My 6 block walk to work seemed to take forever with our 100 km/hr winds (’bout 65 mph for you American folk).

But the good Lord is always on my side. I wake up around 8AM (alarm goes off ’bout 6:30AM; I crawl out of bed @ 8:15AM), and it is often raining. But it always stops when I leave my house. So I will have a relatively dry walk to work. Except for the day of the hurricane. Which I am very pissed about. I walked to work, the rain was so hard, and I held my Starbucks umbrella so close; yet my pants ended up soaking wet. They took until past noon to dry. What I am angry about is that I rounded the corner towards the office, and my umbrella blew inside-out! I loved that umbrella, and they don’t sell it anymore. Dammit.

Oh well, you win some, you lose some. Perhaps I will get a nice umbrella for Christmas. Hint hint.

Just remember this each time you post. The Onion | Mom Finds Out About Blog. Anyone can read your blog. ie. the people I work with! But I won’t tell my mom either.

I had a rough day at work today. Take 3 steps forward and 87 steps back. That’s exactly what happened. I dealt with 3 accounts, check my email and there are 87 new messages. AHH! Somehow it seems never ending!

But this guy I work with is so refreshing. His positive attitude is such a pleasure. I said that I thought I was going to have a mental breakdown, and he said that I should not admit those things aloud. Keep them to myself and instead say the opposite. My words will only confuse the devil since he cannot read my thoughts.

That’s exactly what I needed to get me through the day! Someone who understood, but never shows it. I am glad that I share my lunch with him.

I had my usual Wednesday dinner at my Grandma’s. Today she finished her Christmas Cake. I loooovvvve her Christmas Cake. Everyone does. She is such a wiz in the kitchen. But what she said tonight made me really sad. She said, “when I die, my Christmas Cake will die too.” For a moment that confused my, but what she meant was no one else makes it, or has taken the effort to learn. My mom is the only daughter, and we all know that there isn’t a hope of tradition carrying on there! So she hinted at her Granddaughter. That’s me, the eldest Grandchild. And of the four Granddaughters, I would probably be the one of choice.

I am glad that I have been spending as much time with my Grandma these past 2 months as I have been. I have really gotten to know her more, and I think that is important. But I don’t like it when she says things like that. I can’t image life without Grandma. We take people for granted and the things they do. Why is it we only realize that once they are gone?

Week 2 with no Tuesday volleyball. I hope polk-a-roo realizes and appreciates it. Not that I am rubbing it in his face either; I just don’t want it taken for granted.

I am such a doormat. I give up something I truly enjoy, for the sake of saving a relationship. The problem is, no matter what I do, or what I sacrifice, it will never be enough. There is always something else he wants.

So tonight we went to the mall, he took me grocery shopping, then we came home watched the new Cold Play DVD, and ordered in Chinese Food. Last week was Finding Nemo, and pizza.

I guess you call that quality time, but last week with no volleyball, I gained 5 pounds and sucked in my Monday night league. Better get out my yoga ball. What will happen when I tell him that there is a tournament on the 29th?

Here is a URL that I check out from time to time:

http://apod.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/archivepix.html

Since there is so much going on in our galaxy lately that is making the news, and even the average person knows, I figured that there must be some amazing pictures.

It’s been so long since I have gone out in the middle of the night to watch stars. I miss my friend Ben. He taught me a lot. Cassiopeia was the first constellation that I could recognize; and therefore it became my favourite.

Oh Ben. I bet the stars in New Brunswick are much brighter. I can only imagine.

It’s been awhile since I made my last post. Lots has happened, and I didn’t want to blog about it. Somethings are meant to be private. Plus, I have been working hard to get my Christmas gifts that I am making done; so that has left little time for surfing. My blog reading was on a little hiatus as well. So much to catch up on!

I have also found that I am searching for things to write about. Stuff that won’t offend anyone, or be used against me. The fact that I had to redirect another URL that pointed to my blog to something else, really bothered me. So I stopped writing for a bit. People suck, and I work with their leader.

I think that I have also been a little “down” lately. I have become a little bit more recluse. It’s hard to be social when everything in your life seems like a challenge.

I went out on Halloween with some friends; but even that was a challenge. I have no desire to do anything anymore!

What happened to the old me? The one that took the time…the one that enjoyed going out? I really need to do a lot of sole searching, and get some direction back. No…what I need is a vacation. I blame work for my current state.