I work in a very “different” environment than what I am/was used to. Primarily woman; caring, giving, (surprisingly) NOT bitches (!), sharing, funny…but completely inept when it comes to technology.
For some reason they don’t listen to me or think I know anything. Did you read my resume? Last week a girl wasn’t going to be there and asked me to use her computer to add a list of psychiatrist’s email addresses to her contacts, and then create a distribution list. She showed me how to add a contact! This was the same girl that offered to show me how to do a google search.
This morning a group of doctors met in our boardroom, taking up the last minute offer extended by one of the psychiatrists in our program. How nice. My how doctors love PowerPoint. They asked to borrow a projector and then asked one of the girls, “do you have a wireless network we can use?”
To which she responded very matter of factly, “No. We have Cable.”, said with the last syllable of caBLE louder and snottier.
Oww my head hurts.
I started a job a few months ago. Actually, 3 months ago today. I interviewed for the position, was called to a second interview involving some skills testing, but I didn’t get it.
My heart wasn’t completely broken. I was working contract work, and for myself. Life was leisure and I could sleep in if I wanted. Yet I still needed more money.
I took another job, had been fully trained and was becoming somewhat of a protégé. I didn’t hate the job, but when I was called and asked to start on Wednesday for the job I had interview for first, I didn’t think twice about quitting. I left on good terms with the door wide open for return. My boss said he felt like crying when I left (after only 2 weeks!), because he had seen a lot of potential in me. I felt bad, but I’ve learned to think and care about me. I won’t get ahead unless I do. No more ruts! I’ve learned my lesson the hard way.
So that is where I am now. It’s contract and although it’s full time, I still go in every day thinking I don’t know if I will have a job tomorrow. Working on contract gives you a weird sense of insecurity.
But things look good. My responsibilities are growing and I was given key/alarm access last week. The program manager has been saying all along, “I’ll let you know when positions become available. You definitely have the skills, and we’re happy with your work.” I’ve over heard words of praise about me from others as well.
Yet I’m still not part of the “gang”. I work in an office predominantly of women who have worked close together for a long time; some of them for 12 years.
Our program is expanding and the Manager took all the staff (EXCLUDING ME) to New Yew York City for the weekend as a “thank you” for all the years of work. Everyone has been sensitive to my feelings since I wasn’t included, but it still feels like they are talking about me behind my back. The sites and attractions (and shopping!) being talked about, and the itinerary being planned. I couldn’t help feeling a little green. I’ve never been on a plane, and I’ve never been to NYC. (I don’t count driving through as a passenger in my friends transport truck when he drove down to New Jersey to pick up a load and asked me to tag along).
Oh well. We’ll see what the next month brings as far as employment. After all, NYC will always be there; my job may not. I have to focus on doing a good job so that it will be.
Life’s been secretive the past year or so. I’ve lived under a rock and shared things on a “need to know” basis. I’ll surface every so often, and then go back into my shell. Many factors have affected this decision. Most of which I will probably never talk about.
I’m not sure why though. Life’s not that bad. I’ve done a lot of growing in the past year. The past couple weeks I’ve noticed my face is reflecting that as well. Since turning 30 in January, suddenly expectations of me are higher. No longer being a “20-something”, I can’t use inexperience as an excuse. 30 really is the end. Then again, I thought 21 was.
Whatever. I still think I’m 16, so I guess it’s all relative and doesn’t matter anyways.